Blaming Yourself For Spouse's Infidelity

When you learn--or even suspect--that your partner is cheating on you, the pain can be immense.  You are probably angry, hurt, and any number of other emotions.  Sometimes individuals find themselves blaming themselves for their partner's infidelity.  A person may fear that she was not smart enough or attractive enough to keep her partner's interest.  Someone may wonder if perhaps he didn't listen enough or in some other way drove his partner to cheat.  

Of course, there is no simple explanation for infidelity in a relationship.  One important thing to keep in mind is that it was your partner who chose to engage in some form of a relationship outside of your own.  No matter how much you may wish you could at times, you cannot force someone to do anything--including cheat on you.  Remember this during those times that you are plagued with self-doubt and are blaming yourself.

When infidelity is present in a relationship, there is a clear sign that there are things in the relationship need to be addressed.  However, the fact that your partner went outside of the relationship for something doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you or bad about you.  It signals to you that you have a serious situation to address.  Dealing with infidelity, you have enough to deal with; it is important to keep from blaming yourself so that you don't add to an already-difficult situation.